please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
