Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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