Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Randomize
