if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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