A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
