The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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