Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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