You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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