Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
