The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
