Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
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