I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Randomize
