I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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