I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
