Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
