You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
