I don't usually arrange sex via text message
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
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