ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
