just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
