Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
