turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
