But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Randomize
