yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
i was born a porn star she said
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Randomize
