Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Randomize
