I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
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