I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
Randomize
