im drinking this country out of the recession.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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