haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize
