sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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