i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Are my feet made of real feet?
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
