He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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