You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
The air taste purple.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
