Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
When are your genitals available?
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
