i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
