Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Randomize
