Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize
