it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
My life is pants optional.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
