My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Randomize
