Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
