I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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