3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
