YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
