Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
my sisters under your porch take her home
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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