Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Randomize
