hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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