My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
