you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
