Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Well apparently he's into motor boating.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
