i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
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