i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
