he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
